Eventually, They Have to Do It Without You

When our students are young, I sometimes describe the relationship as a benevolent dictatorship.

I'm the instructor. I set the expectations. I correct them. I push when I think they have more to give.

Sometimes that means tough love.

I care about these kids. Many of them I've watched grow up. At times, I've loved them like one of my own.

I'd rather they experience someone being tough with them while that person still cares about them and wants them to succeed. Because eventually they're going to meet someone tougher than me who isn't smiling when they do it.

But they're not supposed to need me forever.

As students get older, the relationship should change.

For years, somebody gave to them. Someone taught them, corrected them, maintained the standards and pushed them.

Eventually, I want them to understand the other side.

What does it mean to become the giver instead of the receiver?

That's when I start seeing leadership.

Not because they become miniature versions of me. Leadership looks different on everyone.

Sometimes the best evidence doesn't happen in class at all.

A student tells me about something that happened at school, work or in their personal life. As they're explaining how they handled it, I recognize something.

We had a drill about that.

Or a class.

Or one of my lectures.

Maybe they remember where they learned it. Maybe they don't.

If the lesson has become theirs, we did our job.

Then Life Gets Harder

Take a kid who gets straight A's throughout high school.

Great.

Now they're up against 1,000 other A's.

What happens then?

There's a difference between being the best and fighting to be the best.

Eventually, being smart, talented or previously successful won't be enough. Something won't work.

That's when I want them to battle.

That doesn't mean never quit. Maybe you shouldn't continue.

But before you quit, find out why you can't.

Can you pivot? Can you recalibrate? Is there another way through?

You will walk through more doors that you open yourself than doors someone opens for you.

The Parent's Job Changes Too

Parents of younger children naturally look ahead in baby steps.

Confidence. Discipline. Frustration. Self-defence.

Then you become the parent of a teenager and suddenly adulthood isn't very far away.

Preparing for it isn't as simple as paying for their education. Even if you can, that doesn't automatically prepare someone for adulthood.

The question becomes:

What can we do so their transition into adulthood is as successful as we can make it?

Teenagers need a different type of attention.

We want them to become the strongest version of themselves. And increasingly, we can't just tell them what a strong adult looks like.

We have to show them.

Be the best adult role model your child sees.

Eventually, I don't need my students to train forever. I don't need them to become another version of me.

I want them to take whatever we managed to give them and eventually become the giver.

Contribute. Lead. Leave the world a little better than they found it.

And someday, when something becomes difficult, I hope they don't need me standing beside them telling them to battle.

They'll already know.

If you're looking for something that will challenge your teenager—not just physically, but in what they expect from themselves—we'd be happy to have them try a class with us.